Family Tragedy

I have been putting off this post for some time for several reasons. Firstly, because I want to have the right words to express the range of emotions I have gone through lately, and secondly, because I have been waiting for some pictures to be sent to me from some of the events that I would like to post about.

Many of you who read this blog already know what happened in my family exactly 30 days ago on January 6th. (A heartfelt "thank you" to all who have expressed your love and condolences for my family.) My baby brother Jason Bergam passed away due to accidental causes, and my mom found him in his room the next day on January 7th. Only a day before he was to turn 24 years young. I am not even going to get into any details, out of respect for my family and especially for Jason. Besides, they don't even matter. All we know is he didn't suffer. That's enough for me.

I loved my brother so very much and this hit me so hard. I will make a post later on about his life and personality once I receive some of his life pictures. I am waiting on a CD to be sent from home. I wanted at this point to share just a little bit of the funeral and family gatherings that came as a result of this tragedy.

It was held on January 14th at the Robb Drive chapel in Reno, NV- right across from the high school that I and all my siblings had attended. The same building where I grew up going to seminary every morning, where I later on had my own wedding reception, and where we had all just attended a ward Christmas party (and the entire ward was sick with the flu the following week). Who would have thought that just a few weeks later...

My brother Dan, who is a graphic genius, edited and airbrushed hundreds of photos for our display at the service. Including this one we had blown up to a 16x20. It was also the one used for his obituary and program. What a handsome guy! (I recall pointing that out about him as well in my last post...)



This particular photo was taken just over Christmas with all of us together. Dan was able to take my arm I had around Jason digitally. Simply amazing. Technology these days. I put all the finished photos together into two collages so people could see his life. Here's a bit of what the displays looked like.



We also had some digital frames with slideshows of him growing up- from baby to high school graduate. Mostly the school pics.



The service was indescribable. It was so full of comfort, hope, and people! It is a smaller chapel, but still there must have been several hundred people there come to show their support. We have a large extended family, so the reserved family section was pretty big. It was amazing how many cousins travelled hundreds, even thousands of miles to be there. I had family drive from Texas, Utah, Arizona, California. And others who flew from Alaska, Virginia and even Guam! The support displayed was so unbelievable. You could just feel the love in the room as people in the family had a chance to share memories of him, and many shared their witness of the reality of Jesus Christ's Atonement. It was a service filled with hope and confirmation that ours is a fragile existence, but we have the perspective that it doesn't end here. Death is not the end. We got so many comments from all sorts of people that it was the best funeral they had ever been to. Of course it helps that there were many musical numbers performed (music was Jason's life), including my Dad's. I don't know how he was able to do that.

Afterwards we went to the cemetary for the final service and dedication of the grave. (My parents bought a plot right next to his.) A lot of people came there too, as we had another short service where his friends and family friends were given the opportunity to say something as well. I have a few pictures from that event.



Some of the handsome pall-bearers. They were all cousins and family. We had ten in all.



This is the entire group from behind. I was able to videotape what went on there, which I am grateful for. This is only a portion of the people who attended the actual funeral service. A few of his friends spoke here. They loved him so much. We laughed a lot too because Jason was such a goofball. He was mostly known for his big old smile, but most especially for his hair. In fact, that was a nickname- "Hair". He was always experimenting. Lately it had been short and straight, but at our wedding it was long, poofy and curly. He was blessed with some great hair. Maybe I'll do a collage of that sometime. I was honored to have been the one to make sure his hair was done just right for the viewing.



The back of the group, closer up. It was such a warm and gorgeous day for mid-january. We hardly needed a jacket!



Here's my Dad speaking again in, as is usual, deep and profound words. It seemed to me that he was often doing the comforting when it should have been the opposite. But that's his kind and generous nature. A very selfless man to whom I look up to and admire for his strength and wisdom. He sang "O Sole Mio" as they were lowering his casket so we all wouldn't have to listen to the sound of the cranks in silence. He mostly did it for my mom.



Elena got another chance to wear her Christmas dress (since she was sick on Christmas). She ran amuck whilst the ceremony ensued. She kept sitting at random gravesites and inspecting trinkets left, smelling all the flowers- real and fake. She had fun doing that with her cousin Jackson. Some kind family members kept track of them while I taped. We stuck around until they put the sod down and put the gravemarker in. This was the final result:





I was so glad to have been able to be there for ten days and be with family to mourn together and to help each other heal. That time with family will forever be priceless to me. As family and dear friends left one by one, we all felt a great sense of urgency to keep in touch better and to be more a part of one anothers' lives. There were many comments on how unfortunate it is to have events like these to get the family together. So, many plans were made.

I will post more about my brother soon, with many many photos. He is an awesome person that I want to share with everyone. I feel like everyone should know him! So stay tuned...